The Parable of The Monkeys 2

Once upon a time, a certain man bought 5 monkeys, a cage and some bananas. He hung the bananas on a rope and put some stairs under them all inside the cage. Then he introduced only one monkey into the cage. Of course, no sooner than the monkey got into the cage than the monkey tried to grab the banana. The man however took a hose of water and flooded the monkey with cold water. He flooded the monkey so much that the monkey left the banana. After 30minutes, the monkey tried again and the man flooded the monkey again. He tried again in the evening and got the same reaction. After a while, the monkey gave up. After some time, the man introduced the second monkey into the cage. The monkey approaches the banana as a sharp monkey. As the monkey tried to grab the banana, the owner flooded it with water. It tried to grab the banana again and the first monkey grabbed it and beat it up. Later in the evening, the second monkey tried to grab the banana after the first monkey had slept, and the owner of the monkeys flooded it with water and the monkey gave up.

A few days later, the owner introduced the third monkey into the cage. He saw the monkeys and the bananas and thought to himself ‘these monkeys must be fools, look at banana!’ The third monkey thereafter approached the bananas to grab it, the two other monkeys grabbed it and gave it a thorough beating. He tried again, they beat it up. After a few trials and same reaction, the third monkey gave up. After a while, the man removed the first two monkeys, and left the third monkey. He later introduced the fourth monkey into the cage. Remember, the third monkey did not experience the water, but beating. So when the fourth monkey tried to take the monkey, but the third monkey beat it up. Later the man introduced the fifth monkey, and the other two monkeys beat it up thoroughly. After a while, the fifth monkey asked the other monkeys, ‘why are you beating me?’ They answered, ‘we don’t know!, but anytime we go near the bananas we are beaten.’ The water hose had dried, the man who was flooding the monkeys had stopped, but because they had lived in the culture where things had always been done in a certain way, they held to that culture and refuse to ask questions.

Now, you and I are similar to those monkeys. We have been told to go to schools, get good grades, get a job, live ever after and die. But we went to school, got good grades, studied good courses, got good jobs, retired and still discovered we are not able to meet our needs! We have been told either actively or passively that that it the way it is done.

Many of us also yield to our fears. The fear of being flooded inspired the beatings. While the flooding had stopped, the beatings continued. Many of us are afraid of stepping out of our comfort zones because of the failings of others.

Many of us also do not ask questions. We just do the things that many have been doing for years with little to show for it, and we hope things will get better somehow.

Now, for the second time in as many months, I had a heavy heart after hearing the misfortune of many of my friends and colleagues who are were not successful in the Part one examination of the National Post graduate Medical College. These are hard working folks, diligent in their work, but are in a culture where failure is regarded as normal. In fact, it seems there is a deliberate effort to keep an elitist fellowship group. I know the same can be said of a number of other professions e.g Accountancy. The interesting thing also is that the return on investment seems not to be commensurate with the huge investments in thousands of naira to buy books, pay for examination fees, travel expenses, hotel bills etc. Not to talk of the emotional investments.

A number of us have started asking questions. Why will we make such sacrifices and yet still live an average life. Sometime we live below the standard lived by those who left school to pursue other things.

So when you are telling your little ones to work hard, get good grades, study good courses and go on to get good jobs, be careful what you are passing from monkey to monkey.

If you have the guts to ask questions and consider alternatives you may check here:

http://www.holidaysandcash.com/ni.php?user=mayorking

The Parable of the Monkeys.

I had just finished talking to some of my friends who are in Ibadan just before I started writing this piece. They have just received news of the result of the first phase of the Part 1 examination of the West African College of Physicians in their various departments. As is usually the case, it was a period of mixed feelings. I was happy for my friends that were able to pass this first stage that qualifies them for the next stage of the examination, which is essentially clinical, while I was sad for the ones that could not proceed to this next stage. It is needless to say that a lot of effort had gone into the preparation for this exam by the different candidates. Where does one begin from? Is it the financial implications, the emotional investment or the sacrifices that must have been made, especially by the married people who usually deny their family the required attention while preparing for this examination?

Now why is this particular issue of paramount importance in my discussion today? The answer lies in the fact that I have the knowledge of how much the passing of this exam translates into monetary terms, especially in the immediate short term period. I also remember that I was in Minna for a meeting a few weeks ago in after which the National Association Of Resident Doctors of Nigeria (NARD) issued a communiqué to the effect that the circularized new salary scale called CONMESS should be paid with arrears by the end of April, failure of which the Association may be forced to take drastic actions. So with so much sacrifice in trying to improve oneself, the financial reward is not commensurate with the input. A good number of this people that I talk about still find if difficult to do some basic things in their life because of lack of money. The struggle and rat race that we find ourselves in brought to my mind the parable of the monkeys.
So what is the parable of the monkeys and in what way is it related to all that I have said above?

I will be answering these questions in subsequent posts. Meanwhile stay blessed.

April 11 at 12:34am

Michael Jackson; A gifted singer and performer, but troubled soul.

The news of the sudden death of pop icon and superstar, Michael Jackson filled the airwaves. Everybody has something to say about Wacko Jacko as he is called. Michael Jackson was said to have collapsed in his Los Angelis house at about 12.30pm Los Angelis time and his death was confirmed at about 2.25pm L.A time. The immediate cause of death was cardiac arrest, but there were reports of the fact that ha has been having problems with prescription drugs for a long time. Michael seems to be not only a bundle of talents, from his weird but creative lyrics to his dancing steps and choreography including the moon walking, but he was also an embodiment of emotional problems and psychiatric manifestations.
But first let talk about his talent, music, lyrics and dances and the impact they have on many of us. Like Larry King said in his interview on CNN, while it is true that he had a troubled life full of scandals and wrong choices, it is also true that he was talented beyond measures. What is sure is that he gave us his talent, let us celebrate that.
All of us have something to say about Michael Jackson. It could be the good, the bad or the ugly, but none of us can ignore him! For me, I will say that I was fascinated by his creativity. His lyrics were out of this world, but I have always had a suspicion for the mysterious mind that will be churning out such weird subjects at a consistently regular frequency. What do you have to say about things like Thriller, Dangerous, and Bad. Of course he was also instrumental to the USA for Africa fame, but for a young boy that I was, the video of his Thriller album always invoke a mixed feeling of fear, amazement and admiration.
Now going down memory lane, I remember how my big cousin will clear the centre table in our house then just to dance to the music of Michael Jackson with moves like backslide, head spin and trying to mimic his moon walking moves. Then I also remember how with each passing year, his once handsome face was constantly changing until it eventually became like that of a ghost. I remember myself wondering if he really wanted to become like one of the ghosts in his Thriller video. Then as the years went bye, the news started changing from his ingenuity to his ignobility. It now became constant news to have a scandal about wacko Jacko. If he is not accused of molesting little children, he was seen attempting to throw down hi baby from the back of his balcony, to financial problems and marital woes. There was a time it was even said that he could never attempt coming to Africa because of his skin. A black man who could not come to the original home of all blacks !
One will never really know the depth of the mysteries in the mind of this genius, but it has been said that there is a thin line between genius and madness. I will attempt to highlight some of the emotional issues and Psychiatric issues that I think plagued his ingenious but troubled life in subsequent posts in this blog. But for now I join millions in the world who were touch by his music and dance and who are feeling a sense of loss and vacuum about the news of his death in saying ,ADIEU MICHEAL JACKSON.

AN INTERVIEW WITH RICK WARREN (AUTHOR OF "A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE")

Interview with Rick Warren , author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal my wife or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...

God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.

Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD

© John Mark Ministries.

Rape by CIA officer in Algiers; Violent offences not more in the mentally ill.

I have been reading some materials on forensic Psychiatry in recent times. It is widely reported that crime and violent behaviour is not more in psychiatric patients than in the normal population.
I know that a lot of people will dispute that but it is supported by research!

So I was not surprised a few minutes ago when I saw on Associated Press video on Yahoo about the case of a CIA chief in Algeria( a muslim convert himself) who was alleged to have raped two muslim women at separate times. The report even had it that videos of him having sex with many women at different time were recovered in his apartment. He was reported to have used some drugs on the women whom he picked up at the bar in the American Embassy. One onders how a highly discilplined and thorough Agency ould not have discovered this man in their routine review and screening of officers.

Well, sexual indescretion is one of a number of mental illnesses like Mania, Schizophrenia and some sexual disorders and even personality disorders, as well as substance use but these are usually not highly planned but many atimes spontaneous as their lack of good judgement and disinhibition takes the better of them.

So next time you are wont to argue about aggression, violent and violent crime in the mentally ill know that it is not particularly more in the mentally ill than in the normal population. In fact, there are a number of factors that come to play in the issue of aggression, violence and violent crime. These include Genetic and physiological factors, psychological factors and a small group of Psychiatric causes. But as you know, these is important as it may be treatable or manageable.

As a matter of fact, social factors like poverty and poor parenting pattern(either too harsh or to permissive or even deprivation in many forms) seem to be more important than other factors.
Moreover , exposure to physical abuse or neglect in childhood significantly increases the risk of violent offending in later life for both men and women.

The way in which genetic factors mediate the increase in offending is unclear but involve the hyperactivity and low IQ which are factors in children for subsequent adult offending. A lot has also been said about the Y -chromosome and hormonal abnormality due to the fact that ration of men to women vilent offenders at least in the prison population could be as high as 30:1! We know that low serotonin function in the brain hace been linked with impulsive aggression!

So with the few things that I have mentioned above, you will agree with me that the CIA offecer is not likely to be a mentally ill person and so his case goes on to butress the fact that violent offending is not the exclusive behaviour of the mentally ill.Infact, it may not be particularly more in the mentally ill!

Poor Judgement; Reinforcement for Corruption!

So many things came up from my visit to Psychiatric Hospital, Uselu. It seems as if my creative juice which seems to have dried up for some time was just let loose by that visit. It seems to be getting secreted my the minute from the experiences I had during that visit.

Now, I had some arrears of salaries that I had not received for some time paid me in person during that visit. The interesting thing is that I had already received some amount which is for the arrears of CONTISS and was so happy about it, only for a colleague to point out to me that I still had not received at least 3 months arrears from about 15% increase in salary that was paid in November, 2006 for the earlier months of that year. The interesting thing is that I had written some letter of authority which I sent to a friend and colleague for the money to be collected on my behave. The claim is that I must have to write such as long as I have left the services of that hospital.

And so, my visit was to touch base, to sign a couple of forms to register for my forth-coming examination and then to collect the above arrears. Like I was saying before, I had to go back to accounts section of that hospital to ask for the 15% salary arrears. In the process, the record of my bank account was called for and all the account resolved. So I was paid the money. Now, the interesting thing is that the account section had always have my bank details in their records and yet they refused to pay in the money until I have to show up in person! Is that not incredible? Is that not poor judgement? Well, maybe it is just plain corruption that is embedded in the system!

So, I have some catching up to do and I will like to stop here since I have made my point. But seriously, when will we lift our nation out of this quagmire of wide spread distorted thinking that is embedded in the system that is festering corruption? Why can't we just simply do the right things and put our nation on the road to greatness. After all "righteousness exalted a nation and sin is a reproach to any people".

I will be talking more about this widespread poor judgement which is reinforced by corruption that is embedded in the system in subsequent post. For now, I am out of here! Keep moving and think right!

Communication; essential ingredient in building relationships.

My visit to Psychiatric Hospital was eventful and fulfilling. I had already told you about that experience. I am in my study all right. I already proposed to do more study these days than being on the net.However my mind just wandered to a statement made by one of my senior colleagues in that hospital. He said that the scope of Psychiatry is wide because even in the professional exam, someone can just record a scene at the market place and ask questions about it. That is the practicality of Psychiatry; it has a lot of relevence in everyday life.



That is the thought that preoccupied my mind as I recapped all that transpired today. I surely saw the relevence of what I am doing in terms of establishing and maintaining good relationship be it at home, at work, at the place of worship and in the wider social context.

Communication is one of the most important ingredients of good relationships.Lack of good communication skills can spoil an otherwise cordial relationship. It can sometimes determine how successful our marriage, career or any other human endeavour we find ourselves will be.



Take for instance the case of an employee who decided to travel for days without the knowledge of the employer due to a certain so-called important issue. No permission sort and therefore non-granted. Yet the same employee is now evokes God when the employer decided to deduct the wage for the number of days that the employee was not at work. Maybe simple communication of the need to be away for certain pressing issues would have forestall such! Many people find it difficult to hold down a good job because of poor communication skills. They assume a lot of things, as if the next person can read the mind. They are lackadaisical about the work they do and only offer a lot of fantastic reasons for whatever lapses they have only when they are found out. It has been said that 'one's attitude determines the altitude'. They never really amount to much in terms of holding down a job or building career.



Take another case of two colleagues. One made a simple request of the other to take his call duty because he had reasons to travel at that particular time. The friend promised to check his schedule and get back to the colleague if he can take the call or not. He never did! Even when his friend was calling to find out about his decision and to know if he should make alternative arrangements or not he didn't pick his calls. The friend sent him text messages to know his decision, he never replied them! A simple no would have been okay. He however did not communicate with his colleague and yet did not take the call duty! He justified himself on having something very important to do. Simple communication about his decision would have solved the problem. Talk about an essential ingredient in relationships. If their is no effective communication channels, it can lead to prejudices, dangerious assumptions, gossips and even outright resentments.



There is no type of human relationship in which the need for communication is more obvious than in the area of marriage. A couple got married and later started having problems because the husband believed that God wants him to be in Nigeria and the wife insists that she must live abroad. Eventually they had to go separate ways because of this and other irreconcilable differences! One wonders if they never got to share their different believes and harmonise it before signing the dotted lines. Talk about communication.



Now, relationships are essential parts of the human society. The measures of the health of our relationships can give an insight into our personality which is a very important component of our mental health and well being or lack of it as the case may be. If effective communication can help in building and mentaining healthy relationships, it could be said that effective communication can help improve and mentain good mental health.